Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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