The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
