smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
