I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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