oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
