i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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