im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize