Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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