That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
