So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
