I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
