your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I love having hate sex.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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