Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
