Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
