so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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