You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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