This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
