dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
