This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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