but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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