1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
