All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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