You can't special order awesome
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So I just went to clothing optional bar
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
