I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she was so not down for the gang bang
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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