Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
