I'm so fucking centered right now
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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