Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
