I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Boobs are out for the taking
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
