So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
