Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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