yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
