what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
