ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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