Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
