guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
