Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
