I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
