doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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