If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
