You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
