im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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