As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
