have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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