He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize