Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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