i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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