I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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