I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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