yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
