Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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