I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
