I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
