I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
