Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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