no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
