im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
