i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
