i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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