D3 body, D1 cock
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
