I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sobbing to NWA
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
