i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You are a genius and a whore.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
