i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
