So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
